Speak it to Truth

Have you made goals, plans or broader intentions but are struggling to follow through? Share those ambitions with someone in your life.

I believe that sharing your intentions–just putting them out into the universe–sets you up for success. That things are more likely to go your way if you just make your ambitions known. But if you’re not the crystal-charging, sage burning, karmic energy believing type, here are some practical reasons to share, too:

Accountability
- intrapersonal – you’ll feel like an ass if you told someone you were going to do something, and then didn’t.
- interpersonal – you’ll look like an ass if you don’t follow through.
  
  Okay real talk you should always exercise self compassion. No one is perfect. But we know having a workout buddy is the only way some of us actually get our butts to the gym, and there’s no shame in that.
Community
- Once you’ve shared your intention, it’s easier to ask for help making it come true. Maybe you need a reminder, a check in, some encouragement, a proof read, a practice venue… Remember when I said to ask for help? Here’s a nice warm up for that.
- Create your tribe. We talked about finding your tribe. But if you can’t join one, you can build one. Perhaps the person you talk to wants to be a part of it.
- And when you do the thing you set out to do, you’ll have someone to celebrate with.
ConnectionsIt’s all about who you know, right? If your friend/neighbor/colleague knows what you’re up to, maybe they also know someone who can amplify your efforts, send some resources your way, or mentor you.

Okay. You’re ready to socialize your game plan. Now, who to share it with? Someone who supports you. Someone you speak to often. Someone who tells you the truth.

Happy sharing!

Get Out the Vote

It’s time to get out the vote! This could look like canvassing, but it could also involve reaching out to the people who you already know.

It might feel early, but some people still need to register in order to vote for the midterms. Here’s a list of voter registration deadlines by state, but a rule of thumb on the safe side is to (make sure your friends, family, neighbors) register 30 days before the election. That gives us about two weeks to get registered for the Nov 6 election! I know–life comes at ya fast.

I came across OFA’s guide to relational organizing and thought it offered a great structure to this work. Here is a very abbreviated, bipartisan version of the guide:

Step 1
Make a list of people in your network who don’t vote regularly.

Step 2
Collect your resources. Make sure you’re prepared with the right information and next steps for your friend or family member to take, such as:

• Check your voter registration status
• Register to vote
• Commit to vote
• Find your polling place and other Election Day information
• Look up your congressional district

Step 3
Consider what’s relevant to them.

Think of what kinds of points would be the most effective for activating them to turn out and vote in November. What are some of the issues that your friend or family member cares about most? Talk with them about how the issue impacts you both, and where their elected official stands on the issue.

Step 4
Make the call/text/subject broach in an in-person hangout, and update your list.

Don’t be shy about raising consciousness in your community. By considering what issues matter to your neighbor/friend/family member, you’re doing them a service and showing you care about their concerns. And if they’re on your list, they probably care about yours.

Feature Photo by Trung Thanh

overhead photo of residential neigborhood

Act Local

With so much attention on the presidency, foreign policy and the supreme court, we shouldn’t be surprised that our attention is being pulled away from local level politics. Data shows that voter turnout for local elections in the US is ‘plummeting’. But civic engagement at the lower levels is critical. A couple of reasons why:

1. The issues are important.

Do you care how infrastructure, firearms, education (including sex ed), or reproductive rights in your community are managed? These rules vary by state and locality, even when existing national policy sets high level parameters. Then even after the rules are on the books, judges (elected) at the state and local level put them into practice.

They put national politics into practice.

For example: The Affordable Care Act provided incentives for states to expand Medicaid, but the choice was ultimately up to those states. The hope of ACA advocates was for all citizens to qualify for Medicaid or the ACA subsidies. When many states chose not to expand (or fully expand), some people fell in ‘the gap’ between subsidy and Medicaid eligibility. Those people in the gap were impacted and so were the those states’ insurance marketplaces.

My point isn’t about the expansion decision being right or wrong, but a lot of power over how the ACA work resides at lower levels of government. Having your voice represented appropriately in these kinds of decisions is arguably as important as your representation at the national level.

2. State and local politics are a space to reduce partisanship and break up homogeny.

It’s no secret that partisanship at the national level is increasing. The issues at stake are so dynamic and we’re generalizing them to two sides–neither of which can accurately represent us all. The good news is, state and local legislation provides opportunities to account for that dynamic nature of politics and civic life. But if we don’t invest in getting to know our local leaders and the issues at hand, we will fail to make use of this opportunity: by not participating at all or only voting when it’s your party against the others.

State and local politics are more than executors of federal decisions. State-level policies can be used to pilot legislation that has potential for national implementation in the future (helllooooo, Massachusetts-based Romneycare!).

No law is an island. To be civically engaged it’s important to understand how policies, sectors, people and culture all work together to create the ecosystem in which we live.

Your unsolicited advice for the week:

Wherever you’re already engaged, take one step down to get familiar with issues that might have visibility in your everyday life or that of your neighbors.
And don’t stop at identifying who belongs to which party–honor the spaces within that broadly sweeping identity of liberal or conservative. Figure out where different candidates and policy proposals within your party might align more to less with your own values.
Then talk about it! Bring your friends and family into the fold. You don’t have to know it all to be a consciousness raiser.

Hold Space for Dignity

Whether you’re helping someone out or engaging in debate, remember to preserve one another’s dignity. Pity, hatred or judgement won’t do anyone any good. Provide someone with the security they need to engage with you openly and that’s how you get somewhere. Somewhere people can be vulnerable, admit what we know and don’t know, what we’ve done right and where we might have room to grow.

Holding space for dignity is making eye contact. The tone in your voice. Questions that are genuine, not just rhetorical. Listening instead of waiting your turn for rebuttal. Asking someone what they need instead of thinking you know better. Acknowledging the inherent value in each person.

Photo by Ban Yido

I might be another millennial advocating for ‘safe spaces’, but this is not about hiding from our problems. Constructive conflict is the perfect opportunity to practice this. You probably know there’s a chance to put in the effort and you can do some planning ahead. Working in a space that ensures dignity doesn’t give everyone what they want, but it’s miles ahead of the public discourse we are bearing witness to each day.

I believe that a lot of the scariest, ugliest human behavior comes from fear and insecurity. And, when we enact policy that strips people of their dignity and puts them in desperate situations, how can we expect anything other than perpetuating a cycle of incivility? I’m sure a few current events come immediately to mind.

woman pushing another older woman in wheelchair

Photo by Josh Appel

We can take steps to hold space for dignity in our private conversations in and in our civic lives. What’s personal is political, and what’s more personal than basic dignity?

Ask For Help

Have you been hesitating to ask for help? It seems to me that this must happen more and more as technology enables self reliance.

Yes, people do use tech to ask for help within their existing communities, and I hope after reading this you do even more of that! But hear me out…

Your Prime account, rideshare app, and Google have you covered. You can find a place to stay on AirBnB, pay for grocery shopping, even get your dog walked by a stranger if you would more readily rely on a formal service than ask a friend for a favor.

When we rely less on social capital and more on what cash can buy, we become disconnected from our neighbors. When we build no social capital and find ourselves in tight spots, it’s even harder to reach out for support. I truly believe if we asked for help more often each ask would be lower stakes, and both parties would have the opportunity to say “next time” if Yes wasn’t possible this time.

Asking for help makes us vulnerable. We don’t want to inconvenience anyone–especially when that friend or neighbor never asks us for anything. We don’t want to be seen as lazy, incompetent, or worse: taking someone for granted.

But there are so many benefits to be realized if we open up to our support systems:

Asking for help gives someone a chance to do something good for themselves. We don’t need research to tell us that being generous is good for us, but the evidence on the health benefits of good deeds is out there*.

Asking for help opens your neighbors up to do the same. So hopefully you’ll have a chance to get in on that good juju, too.

When I visited Peru a few years ago I learned about the Andean emphasis on reciprocity. At first I felt put off. Was it acceptable in this culture to give only in order to receive? But that wasn’t giving our hosts enough credit. After more research I came to understand the context of mutuality–a kind of interconnectedness where everyone relies on one another. It wasn’t about manipulation, but a means for survival for the collective.

To state the obvious, asking for help makes it easier for people to help. Particularly in times of crisis, there is often a hoard of willing helpers who don’t know how to make themselves useful. I’ve been on the receiving end of an avalanche of “if there’s anything I can do to help”s. I remember how overwhelming it felt. Sometimes I hear advice like “don’t ask what they need, just do something.” But in practice I think that’s even more difficult. If you have the capacity to do a little delegating, you can help the helpers actually provide something you need.

We’re still talking civic engagement here, promise: Ask for the help you need to be civically engaged. Build a network of social capital so when it’s time to mobilize you have a crew to call on. Earn someone’s trust so you can have a meaningful dialogue. The more I write about civic engagement the more it feels like being a better neighbor but on a bunch of new levels.

Every time I ask for help I’m overwhelmed by the response. And over the years, I’ve done a lot of asking. Money for service learning experiences abroad. Cat sitting. Moving everything I own from one building to another. A meal and some company during sad times. Help buying a house. Help painting said house. Recommendation letters. Rides.

When Facebook recently prompted me to host a birthday fundraiser I saw an opportunity to make the tiniest dent in my own hopelessness surrounding the conflict in Syria. I set up a page to collect contributions for the Syrian American Medical Society and surpassed my $500 goal in two weeks. Just because I asked for help on Facebook. People you don’t even expect come out of the woodwork and support you if you just ask.

Civic engagement is about strengthening communities, and our communities are stronger when there is more social capital in circulation.

Your challenge this week: Ask for help when you would have otherwise made it work on your own. Say Thank You. Take in how amazing it feels to get the help you needed, and reciprocate (or pay it forward) when you get the chance.

*Just a handful of published studies with evidence for positive health benefits of generosity/altruism:

Giving to Others and the Association Between Stress and Mortality
– American Journal of Public Health

Is volunteering a public health intervention?
A systematic review and meta-analysis of the health and survival of volunteers
– BMC Public Health

On the Costs of Self-interested Economic Behavior
How Does Stinginess Get Under the Skin?
– Journal of Health Psychology

Virtue rewarded: Helping others at work makes people happier
– American Review of Public Administration

Feature Photo by Catt Liu

Listening Deeply

This weekend I tried a new type of outreach: deep listening canvassing.

As the name implies, this approach is more about listening (and data collection) and less about talking. It had one brief opportunity for education around the non-profit that organized the canvassing, but it didn’t promote any initiative or candidate.

Being a better listener helps you support your loved ones and it makes you more effective at work. It also positions you for more effective civic engagement. How can you engage with people if you’re unable to understand them? How will you understand them if you don’t listen?

obama expressive listening

Some best practices I’ve learned between journalism school, professional development, and personal improvement work:

Ask Open-Ended Questions
- “What did you mean by _____” is better than “Don’t you think that’s a sexist thing to say?”
Shut Up and Stop Thinking Ahead
- If you start crafting your response as soon as someone starts speaking, you’re going to miss the insights that the other person is offering you.
- This means slowing down, and getting comfortable with moments of silence
Don’t Yuck their Yum
- Putting someone on the defense will inhibit them from opening up to you, and again, limit the insights available to you. Avoid judgment.
Be Aware of Your Body Language
- A friendly face makes a difference. Consider your posture, and how you’re speaking–not just what you say.
Say “I don’t know”
- Admitting a blind spot can make you feel vulnerable, especially when talking to someone who holds an opposing view. But you’re setting the standard–that in this conversation, authenticity and truth are upheld above proving yourself to be right. If you admit not knowing the answer to one thing, you might seem more reliable on the facts you shared with confidence.
Consider Their Vulnerabilities Too
- If you understand someone as being afraid instead of ignorant, or stupid, you’ll probably have a better opportunity to connect with them and communicate with them in a way that resonates.
Exercise Acknowledging All Feelings as Valid Ones
- Even people who have feelings and beliefs that are factually incorrect, telling them plainly that they’re wrong is another way to close the lines of communication. Some of those factually inaccurate beliefs still shape choices–like votes. Work with those feelings you don’t agree with (or know are based on inaccuracies) by asking how your conversation partner got to this conclusion. Then, when you have an opportunity to set the record straight, it’s about a lie in a Facebook post or an old study that was later debunked and retracted–not the person’s intelligence that’s to blame.

These are all easier said than done. They’re a practice, taking time to refine and incorporate as habits. I believe that genuine connectivity and real dialogue can counter some of the extreme polarization taking place in our communities. Regardless of our politics, I think these habits will make us more connected humans. So what’s to lose?

more on deep listening canvassing: Knock Every Door
more on deep canvassing: Study Finds Deep Conversations Can Reduce Transgender Prejudice

Considering Privilege

What do people mean when they say “check your privilege”? Sometimes I see this battle cry used more to belittle someone for being ignorant than to initiate any real consideration. I’m hoping to create a more productive space for introducing this concept for people who aren’t familiar.

Reflecting on our privileges is an important exercise for any person. Some cringe-worthy stories that came out of the first women’s march showed us what it looks like when well meaning people choose to jump into the deep end before learning the basics. So, here goes:

My take on Privilege

Privilege comes in many different forms. A lot of it can be identified by understanding the burdens which inherently exist for some people but not for others. Don’t get it twisted: acknowledging your privilege does not imply that you never faced an obstacle, or that you should feel guilty for having it. It’s easier to think about it in the form of: “I’m privileged because I don’t have to ________.”

A few real-life examples:

perform better than my male peers in a STEM class to be perceived as equally capable [Study]
argue with a pharmacist to receive my doctor-prescribed medication when they hold personal objections to my legal, FDA-approved healthcare choice [ACLU Paper]
think twice about calling the police to protect me from violence [NYT story + stats]
worry about whether I can find a way to feed my family tonight [Food Insecurity by County]
have my wedding invitation denied because my close friend doesn’t approve of my sexual orientation [experience shared by a loved one]
hear vile slurs about my minority race screamed at me while I walk down the street [experience shared by a loved one]
research the restaurant’s accessibility whenever I am invited to dinner somewhere new [experience shared by a colleague]
represent my minority group if I show up late to a meeting, do poorly in school or need to ask for help [Not a summative anecdote, but I’d highly recommend White Like Me if you’re looking for more context around minority group representation]
The Burden of Representation as defined by Henry Louis Gates Jr:

photo: Cristian Newman

These might not be the points of gratitude we record in our journals at bedtime. People with privilege, in any of these dimensions, don’t have to think about these things, and that’s the point.

Resources for Diving Deeper

This essay explained privilege in an effective way for me, so I like to share it when people are looking for resources:

White Priviledge: Unpacking the Invisible Knapsack

it’s an excerpt from Peggy McIntosh’s paper on both white and male privilege:

White Privilege and Male Privilege

there are also some adaptations that cover privilege around gender identity and sexual orientation:

Sexual Orientation

Putting this Awareness into Practice

Being part of the solution means understanding where your experience fit into the bigger picture. Many of today’s political debates involve judgments about other peoples’ experiences. Our government is supposed to address market failures and protect vulnerable populations. As citizens it is our responsibility to invest time in understanding other populations before making our judgments. Privilege is just one thing that differentiates your own experience from someone else’s, but holding space for that acknowledgement can change everything.

Voting with your Wallet

We live in a capitalist society – or some attempt at it. On paper, capitalist markets strive for ‘perfect competition,’ where consumers have full transparency into the choices we make. This isn’t our reality, of course, but doing some research can get us a tiny bit closer.

When spending money, we can ask ourselves…

Does this business enslave or otherwise exploit people?
Does this business partner with other brands you have chosen not to support?
Does this business hire fairly, pay living wages and provide benefits required to support a family?
What kind of causes does this business stand for? What does their foundation do?
What political issues or candidates does the business align with?
What is the ratio of public good : negative externalities generated by this business?
- Take the concept of carbon neutrality but apply it to every kind of externality. If every violent video game maker invested enough in violence prevention work to balance out the damage they cause, for one crude example.
original photo by Bart Jaillet

Self compassion is critical as this is an imperfect process. Businesses aren’t readily showing off their shady exploits. Private entities aren’t required to be as transparent as the public realm. And some days it really does feel like there are no good options. It’s not sustainable to know all of the above about each item we purchase, but there are opportunities to be a little intentional with our spending.

Sometimes a company goes to supreme court to make a stand you do or don’t agree with. Every so often some very compelling evidence will pop up about a businesses’ working conditions. Maybe you know someone who works for an organization and can give you first-hand information about their policies. Sometimes you see a brand’s name on a campaign finance summary. When those opportunities present themselves, we can incorporate them into our consumer choices.

When we spend our money based on more than just the price of an item, businesses can be held to a higher standard. Capitalism is supposed to work by everyone serving their own interests; it serves me to support the wellbeing of others, and I’m making small steps to demonstrate that as a consumer in the market.

There are so many more issues wrapped up in this one—wages so low they inhibit people from having autonomy to choose to pay more to make a stance; weak anti trust efforts failing to ensure proper competition so we actually have alternative producers to turn too… we can’t take it all on, but we make purchases every day—this is just one sustainable step.

Know any brands you feel confident supporting, or resources for navigating responsible consumerism? I’ve found a lot of sites for household items but food and beverages seems more difficult. Urban farming, anyone?

Spot the Wack PAC

Save Room for Research: Minding Your Media Diet

To conclude this tangent on media literacy and media diets (for now), let’s talk about volume. The other day I read a poem Amy Turn Sharp shared, it simply read “Edit Your Life.”

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Amy Turn Sharp ATS (@amyturnsharp)

To curate your content intake is to keep this journey sustainable. Some ideas for getting involved and avoiding the overwhelm:

1. Remember you do not have to be, and in fact cannot be, an expert on all things.

Consider prioritizing a single issue you want to follow all year (and/or) focus your energy on issues that are actually making it onto the agenda.

2. Unsubscribe, Unfollow Uninstall

For every conference I attend, and for every documentary I watch, I end up with a new iOS app, an e-newsletter subscription and an SMS alert. That’s not sustainable. Go through and clear the clutter so you can read and respond to what really matters on an everyday basis.

3. Reduce crap content so your brain has more room for the good stuff.

To make space for positive change, you might have a few extra hours lying around, but many people don’t. Glennon Doyle Melton made her shift from mommy-of-three blogger to New York Times bestseller (and Oprah’s Book Club pick) by giving up her nighttime TV habit.

“For a mom, that’s the finish line. That’s like the promised land. They’re all asleep and it’s the only time to not… have to give anyone any snacks. But I realized, if you want a creative life, you have to give up that hour of TV a night. That’s freaking it.”

If you want to be a force for the issues that shape your life, is a habit like this something you can sacrifice to make change more feasible?

Tell me: How do you unsubscribe and unplug to become your life’s editor-in-chief?

lucy – ramos

Mindful leadership for challenging the status quo.

Tag Archives: civic engagement